LAFF WAN KILL ME

My dear Ghanaians Its church, not 'Chech'. Pastor, not 'pastar'. Doctor, not 'Dactar'.
My fellow Nigerians Its bath, not 'baff'. Our currency is called Naira, not 'narrah'.
My dear Edo people Its argument, not 'ajument'. My dear Yorubas Its Air, not 'hair'.
Eight, not 'hate'. Its Van Persie, not 'Fan Persin'. My dear Ibadan peeps Its not 'sun
tissu', its Sean Tizzle! Its not 'siro' but zero! My dear Hausa people Its fifty, not 'pipty'.
Its people, not 'fiffle'. Its five, not 'pipe'. Glo, not 'gilo'! Seriously it
is 'Tuface weds Annie Macauley', stop saying 'Toothpaste weds Animal
calling'. My Egun people Its actually 'MTN'
and not 'NTM'! My dear Calabar peeps Kindly note
its love and not 'rurf'. My Benue people Its not 'Lick Loss',
its 'Rick Ross'. My Igbo people There is nothing like
'thaaasand', it is thousand. It is bed- sheet and not 'bay sheet'. And its
thirty, not 'thartie'! Our Lord's prayer is actually 'Our Father, who at in
Heaven. Hallowed be your name...', and not 'Our Father, look at eleven,
adaobi thy name...'.. (Take the corrections pls)

Poem of salvation

Read this story , and
Follow the recommendation at The End...

As I was walking down life's highway many years ago i came upon a
Sign that read Heavens Grocery Store. When I got a little closer the doors swung open wide
and when I came to myself i was standing inside...I saw a host of Angels. They were Standing everywhere
One handed me a basket and said 'My Child shop with care..'Everything a human needed was in that
Grocery store.
    What you could not carry you could come back for more first I got some 'Patience', 'Love' was in that
same row further down was 'Understanding', You need that Everywhere you go...I got a box or Two of 'Wisdom'  And 'Faith' a bag Or two. And 'Charity' of Course I would need some Of that too. I couldn't miss
'The Holy Ghost' It was all over The place. And then some 'Strength' And 'Courage' to  Help me run this race.
My basket was Getting full But I remembered I needed 'Grace', And then I chose 'Salvation' for Salvation was for Free I tried to get Enough of that To Do For You and Me...Then I started to The counter To pay my grocery Bill, For I thought I Had everything To do the Masters Will. As I went up the Aisle I saw 'Prayer' and Put that in, For I knew when I Stepped outside I would run into Sin. 'Peace' and 'Joy' Were plentiful, The last things On the shelf. Song and Praise Were hanging near So I just helped Myself. Then I said toThe angel 'Now how much do I owe?' He smiled and Said 'Just take them Everywhere you go.' Again I asked 'Really now,... How much do I  Owe?' 'My child' he Said , 'God paid your bill A long long time Ago.'
This poem has Been sent to you With love and for  Blessings.It originated in The Netherlands And has been
Around the world 9 times. 2014 is your Year of Total Victory!

Footballers Who’s Appearances Does Not Suit Football.

*Mario Balotelli(Gangster Rapper/hip hop) *Wayne Rooney(Boxing) *Gerrald Pique(Taxi Driver)
*Bacary Sagna(Native doctor) *Oliver Giroud(Modelling) *Daniel Osvaldo(Actor) *Ba (imam)
*Aristedi Bance(Armed Robber) *Ramires(Sugar-cane seller) *Scott Parker(Choir master)
*Raheem Sterling(Athletics) *Daniel Agger(Art) *Gervinho(native doctor)…. *kaka(evangelist)
*Ronaldo(love-vendor) *messi(house boy)*lampard(pastor) *sturigde(streetboy) *bale(hunter)
*benzema(crown prince) *carrick(estatemanager) *anderson(street hip pop) *luiz(militant)
*de gea(sales boy) *cahill(pundit) *kompany(military) *wilfred bony(farmer)*yaya toure(bodygaurd)
*Luis Suarez (vampire) *Ozil (Eye witness)  *Ibrahimovic (Colombia drug smuglers) *Eto (Grandpa)
Add yours ooh….

Six things you did in secondary/primary school

1. You would always stand in front of the class and read aloud.(English class)
2.Always wish the new term was better than the previous.
3. Hated it when a teacher gives us too much assignment.
4. Always wish the holiday would never end.
5. Wicked teachers were does that uses the Cane.
6. There would always be that one teacher you do not like.

Top 10 richest people in the world

#1 Bill Gates $76 B 58 Microsoft United States

#2 Carlos Slim Helu &
family $72 B 74 telecom Mexico

#3 Amancio Ortega $64 B 77 retail Spain

#4 Warren Buffett $58.2 B 83 Berkshire Hathaway United States

#5 Larry Ellison $48 B 69 Oracle United States

#6 Charles Koch $40 B 78 diversified United States

#6 David Koch $40 B 73 diversified United States

#8 Sheldon Adelson $38 B 80 casinos United States

#9 Christy Walton & family $36.7 B 59 Wal-Mart United States

#10 Jim Walton $34.7 B 66 Wal-Mart United States

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True

The Giant cricket of Africa enjoys eating human hair.

Be inspired

If you believe in what you are doing, then let nothing hold you up in your work. Much of the best work of the world has been done against seeming impossibilities.

                                     Dale Carnegie

Quotes

There is just one life for each of us: our own.

2 Law of power

Never put too Much Trust in Friends, Learn how to use Enemies Be wary of friends-they will betray you more quickly, for they are easily aroused to envy. They also become spoiled and tyrannical. But hire a former enemy and he will be more loyal than a friend, because he has more to prove. In fact, you have more to fear from friends than from enemies. If you have no enemies, find a way to make them.

Law of power

Never Outshine the Master

  Always make those above you feel comfortably superior. In your desire to please or impress them, do not go too far in displaying your talents or you might accomplish the opposite – inspire fear and insecurity. Make your masters appear more brilliant than they are and you will attain the heights of power.