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Laugh!!! Lol!!!

A Man saw a lion in the bush, he knelt down & closed his eyes & started
praying... When he opened his eyes, he saw the lion kneeling in front of
him& was praying too. What a shock! He asked the lion, are you a Christian ? The
lion replied...''fool'' don't you pray before you eat? Don't laugh alone pass it and put
a smile on other's face. Lol........

Word of the Day

Don't worry, Be happy

Do you know?

Did you know August has the highest percentage of births.

Thank God

Thank God, Praise God and lift his name

Vanity

Nothing in life is worth fighting for. Ur best clothes is someone's rag, ur account balance is someone's church offering, ur gf/bf or fiance' was someone's Ex. Every single prostitute you see in a hotel or on the street at night was at some point in time a virgin. So what is the squabble all about? Life is too small to feel big or better than anybody. We're all naked to death says Steve Jobs.  Nothing can save us from it. I hate to see people who Brag about wealth, beauty, intelligence, level of education, fame and material possessions. There's nothing u've achieved in life that no one else has never gotten. There's only one thing that is worth bragging which is "LIFE IN GOD ALMIGHTY". SO BE GOOD TO UR FELLOW MAN N ALWAYS MAKE FRIENDS. Always remember that the people you trample upon on ur way up a ladder will be d same u'll pass on ur way down, so cause no problem for others cos if u do, they'll become ur very problem one day. Finally, even banana stems will one day become dried leaves.
If one day you feel like crying, call me. I don't promise to make you laugh but i can cry with you.
If one day you want to run away don't be afraid to call me. I promise to be there running beside u.
But if one day you call me & there's no answer, come to me, perhaps i need u.

             * * ,,  * *
          *  I care for *
           *.    You   *
                "* ,, *"
One day, one of us will not be here and then it'll be too late to say i care. Tears may flow, but one will be long gone. Let old friends know you haven't forgotten them & new friends know u never will.

Mathematics

Bolaji's rule of division.
X/y=x^2y/xy^2
Am adding this to the
law of algebra.

Funny Prayer


 Dear God! Give me the nature of Jim Iyke -never to allow intimidation, a heart like Ramsey's to love my woman but please a wife like Omotola Jalade Ekeinde not Like FunkeAkindele who'll beat me up and throw me out, a mother in-law like Ngozi Ezeonu and not Patience Ozokwor biko, a father in-law like PeteEdochie and not Chiwetalu Agu that can swear for me. A tolerant heart like Kenneth Okonkwo's, please don't give me a maid as curvy as Mercy Johnson and Genevieve Nnaji, you know naa, please if I have Tonto dike among my children please may my wife abort her before i find out, give me the wealth of Olu Jacobs because i have never seen him poor, I need neighbours like Mr IBU & Charles Inojie so laughter won't depart from me, I need smart male children like Chinedu Ikedieze & Osita Iheme but with height, give me wisdom like NKEM OWOH. And please crown it all with long life like that very old man that told the story of "Igodo" Baba God! I know you understand better. Somebody help me type AMEN

Useful Hints That Would Help You Achieve Your Goals

*No one is to be blame for your FAILURES in LIFE

* The key to your success is
focus.

* There is
no limit to what you can
achieve when you set your
heart to it.

*You need to define your goals
firstly.

*The desire to pass is exactly the same desire you have when
you want to eat what you like.

*It is also the same desire you
have when you desperately
need the toilet.
You do everything possible to go
there.

*What do you do when you
desperately need to go to the
toilet?

1. You leave everything you
are doing and run to the
toilet.
2. You walk as fast as possible
if you don’t wan to be
embarrassed
3. If anyone calls you, you say
"please wait this is important"
4. The best football game or
movie cannot stop you. This is
important.

You may have some obstacles
1. Someone may be in there.
You will have to stay around
there till the person leaves

2. It may not be convenient
at that time, but you will still
have to stay
That's the same with your
exams. Keep making it the
most important priority for
your lives for now after God.

*If you play with your friends,
if they pass, they won't be
your friends anymore.

*You will find out you're on your own.

*There is no limit to what you can achieve when you set your heart to it.

*Please I want you guys to be
the change.

*There is so much money being spent on you and I am sure you want to make your parents proud of you on the Long run.

Question of the day

How do I tell my closest friend she smells without her getting embarrassed ?

Life

Life is smart Love is sweet God is great Yesterday is waste Today is Best Tomorrow is Taste So enjoy life Good Morning

Think positive

When you say Its hard, it actually means Im not strong enough to fight for it. Stop saying its hard. Think positive!

Dreams

Build your own dreams, or someone else will hire you to build theirs.The only thing that stands between you and your dream is the will to try and the belief that it is actually possible.

Who are your FRIENDS ?

Your friend is a REFLECTION of your FUTURE.

Show me your friend and I will Tell you where you are going

Friends are a BLESSING and also they can be a CURSE.

Your friends would do 1 or 4 things to you. They either ADD to you, TAKE AWAY (SUBTRACT) from you, MULTIPLY you, or DIVIDE you and BREAK.

--FELA DUROTOYE--

Who are your FRIENDS ?

Your friend is a REFLECTION of your FUTURE.

Show me your friend and I will Tell you where you are going

Friends are a BLESSING and also they can be a CURSE.

Your friends would do 1 or 4 things to you. They either ADD to you, TAKE AWAY (SUBTRACT) from you, MULTIPLY you, or DIVIDE you and BREAK.

--FELA DUROTOYE--

VAL WAHALA SEASON 1

Babe: Baby do u still luv me lyk b4

Guy: Yes my luv, my luv 4 u will never die.

Babe: That's my babyyyyy, I want u 2 buy me
something dis val day
Guy: Just name it.

Babe: it is just one Iphone5x

Guy: No problem, just find out d price and let me knw ok

Babe: it is just #500,000

Guy: Is it manual or automatic? Is it still in good shape? As in d engine, have you check d fuel consumption too?

Babe: Honey, it is not a car, it is a phone

Guy: Oh phone

Guy: That means it has inbuilt fridge, generator set, plasma tv and wardrobe ryt?

Babe: Are u buying it or not?

Guy: Plz am not o! I can't

Babe: Hehe.....Guy

Babe: Don't bother again, I will call chief to get it 4 me dis evening

Guy: Better still, call woyome.....he will b much faster

Babe: Am going to delete u

Guy: I have deleted u the very moment u mentioned Iphone5x sssiaaas500k. How much is the bride price even in d north. Animal

Source: OOU COMPUTER SCIENCE GROUP ON WHATSAPP.

HAPPINESS AND JOY

Happiness is Something you Experience for a short time.

Happiness is something you can create yourself.

Joy is something that comes from within.

Things of the world can give you Happiness but can not give you Joy.

Happiness is a state of Ecstasy for a short Time.

You can buy Happiness you can not buy Joy.

Joy is from the heart, Happiness is from the mind

--Adeshokan Bolaji Adedotun --